start by finding a comfortable position, then:

gently shut your eyes

take a few long, slow, deep breaths

in, then out

return to your normal breathing and

focus your attention on your feet

STOMP

the spotted lanternfly is an invasive species
they feed on the sap of host plants
they leave behind a sugary waste that can impede photosynthesis

the best way to kill one when you see it is to step on it
crush it with your foot
the adults are hard to kill because they jump and fly
the nymphs are easier because
they don’t have wings yet

focus your attention on your neck

SLAM

something hits the glass door
a couple of us get up from our desks, including me
we look to see a woodpecker on the ground, tongue lolling out of its long beak

it’s not moving

I say we should let it be for a moment because sometimes they stun themselves and are able to snap out of it

this bird is too still for that

a coworker gets a pair of gloves and goes outside to take care of it
I watch as he picks up the bird and its head goes limp

a broken neck

he comes back inside a few minutes later and tells me he found a large broken tree branch in the wooded area behind the building
he buried the bird under the branch, he says, and bid it farewell

I don’t feel well for the rest of the day

it doesn’t matter that the bird died on impact 

focus your attention on your face

BREATHE

Proverbs 18:21 says that death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit

the Buddha calls us to use right speech
that malicious speech is unhealthy and something to abandon, to abstain from

words hold power, and I will never understand why violence of any kind is only considered valid when physical but not when it’s verbal, regardless of if it’s at a whisper or a shout

sowing leads to reaping
what we send into the universe comes back to us threefold
you know the drill

focus your attention on your feet 

STOMP

I go for a walk and see several spotted lanternflies
I try to crush them but they jump and fly away
it’s frustrating

focus your attention on your chest

HALT

I am leaving for afternoon break when I see it

a chipmunk, dead in the parking lot

I’m studying it when the coworker who took care of the bird comes out and sees me
“whatcha’ got?,” he asks
I point to the animal and wonder out loud when and how it happened 
he gathers a couple of large pieces of tree bark from the group and scoops up the tiny creature, neat as you please

he says it must be recent, because look: the blood on the chipmunk’s mouth is pretty fresh

I look and wish I hadn’t 

my heart contracts like a clenched fist

he buries the chipmunk under the same branch as the woodpecker

we’ve started a pet cemetery

focus your attention on your neck

SLAM

a prominent Christian Nationalist is fatally shot through the neck during a campus rally

he was an advocate for the second amendment and said that a few gun deaths a year were acceptable collateral for having the right to bear arms

he also spread anger and hate through his words

this is fact; no rational person can say he spread peace and love

I see an image online of blood spurting from this man’s neck and wish I hadn’t 

he will be martyred, and my fear grows that his death will be used as justification for more violence, both physical and verbal

focus your attention on your feet

STOMP

I walk during my break and spot several lanternflies 
I crush two but many others get away
I start to hunt with my eyes, trying to locate more
soon every leaf on the sidewalk is a suspect, until it isn’t 

I don’t feel great about this process anymore

focus your attention on your chest

GASP

a few months ago, a Democratic Representative is assassinated in her home

her husband and dog are also shot

all three eventually died

she was an advocate for environmental rights, transportation, and gun control policies

within 48 hours, the entire world moved on, and they were all forgotten

my heart balls up like a fist again

focus your attention on…

PAUSE

I arrive early to work, before anyone else
I get out of my car, look around, then walk over to the edge of the parking lot

I step into the tree line and find the branch

our pet cemetery 

the careful place of burial for nature’s course

I don’t want to look but curiosity, you know
I pick up the edge of the branch and see

nothing

of course

we’d put out two small meals for larger predators

for some reason I feel stupid

why would I think there would still be carcasses when there are coyotes and turkey vultures around

of course the little dead things are gone

there’s always something bigger out there,
waiting to devour, destroy, consume, smash

how you choose to live is up to you

take another big breath in, then out
gently open your eyes
we hope you have a great rest of your day